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The 1988 VP-6 Adak Navy Dining In
The 1988 VP-6 Adak deployment Dining In was a squadron event that will be indelibly etched in the memories of
all who participated. Steeped in tradition, the Navy Dining In is normally a very formal unit function requiring the wearing of formal uniforms (in this case mess dress blues) and governed by a special set of Dining
In rules. At VP-6, the deployment Dining In had evolved (degenerated?) into a raucous and crazy social event.
A few weeks before the event, our Skipper called us together at an All Officers Meeting (AOM).
Although his exact words are now forgotten, the general message that he conveyed to us was that he expected all present to make this particular Dining In an epic event. He had kept his expectations intentionally
vague. Halfway through a 6-month Winter deployment in Adak, Alaska, it's not surprising that morale was badly in need of improvement and our Skipper, having recently assumed command, understood that the squadron
officers needed something out of the ordinary to boost spirits. He also announced that the guest of honor and speaker for the event would be none other than the legendary RADM William Pendley, our CO’s old skipper
at VP-45. Since Adak was not known for its outstanding dining establishments (apologies to McDonalds), and there was no Officer's Club, by necessity the event would take place at the Bachelor Officers Quarters
(BOQ), with cocktails in the BOQ bar, and dinner in the BOQ mess.
Before we proceed further, some additional background information is required. At VP-6 there was a friendly (and somewhat painful for some)
rivalry between the LCDR department heads and the "JOs" or Junior Officers (the JOs were anyone under the rank of LCDR). Many of the JOs referred to the LCDRs collectively as "Clones", in
reference to the way in which all LCDRs were alike (it seemed) in the way that they vigorously pursued their work in an effort to be ranked well on their fitness reports and ultimately screen for command. This
rivalry between the Clones and the JOs, typically manifested itself in friendly practical jokes and pranks and was normally quite harmless. VP-6 deployment Dining Ins however, had become the perfect forum for
"Clone jokes".
With a clear mission in hand, plans and preparations were begun in earnest. This was not the first VP-6 Dining In for many of us, and the memorable 1986 VP-6 Cubi Point deployment
Dining In (*"The Night of a Thousand Rolls") provided a solid foundation of mayhem upon which to build an epic Adak event. LT Eric Jensen designed and ordered a large batch of "Welcome to Wally
World" T-shirts, enough for all of the JOs. At the Adak VP squadron hangar, in large letters on the chalkboard in the Avionics/Armament Division office was written: "Goals for the Dining In: 1. Drink
heavily, 2. F--- with Larry, 3. Make at least one LCDR cry." An expedition to the Navy Exchange was undertaken to purchase twenty large boxes of marshmallow Easter candy for use as ammunition during the
traditional mid-dinner Dining In food fight. They had been on sale at the Navy Exchange for a ridiculously low price in the weeks after Easter.
A few days before the event, a special VP-6 P-3 crew was
dispatched to Korea to pick up RADM Pendley (COMNAVUSFORCESKOREA). On the repo flight back to Adak, RADM Pendley was very insistent about asking the JO crew to provide excruciating details (dirt) on most in the
Wardroom to edit into his prepared speech. His speech that night was especially witty and clever.
On the day of the Dining In, a curious event took place which to this day has never been fully explained:
that afternoon, the wings and medals of many of the LCDRs simply vanished from the LCDR's BOQ rooms (the case is still on the books of the Naval Investigative Service and has never been solved.) Lacking several
crucial and manly uniform items, the absence of which would be an unspeakable uniform infraction for an aviator, many of the LCDRs declared that they would not attend the Dining In. Assuming that the JOs were behind
the disappearance, messages were sent to the JOs at the pre-dinner Cocktail Hour to inform them that the LCDRs would boycott the Dining In until the missing items were returned. Although astonished that they might
somehow be suspected of such a dastardly deed, and with the threat that some of our squadron brethren might not show, several of the JOs agreed to help the Clones look for their missing medals and wings. Using a
modified expanding square search, the items were found and returned to their owners (Well, we couldn't afford to let them miss out on all that fun, could we?) Other much less fashion-conscious Clones were
undeterred, and constructed fake medals and accouterments out of cardboard, and showed-up anyway. The rest of the Cocktail Hour went off without a hitch. Introductions were made, and quite a few drinks were
consumed, but there were no casualties (with the exception of Clone pride). Dinner would be a different story.
At the conclusion of the Cocktail Hour, the VP-6 officers made their way to dinner. The
beginning of dinner happens to be the most formal point of any Dining In evening. As Navy tradition dictates, during the "Call to Dinner", unit officers march into the dining room and stand at attention
behind their chairs at their tables. Then, when the last officer arrives, and grace is said, a gavel is struck by the President of the mess and all are then seated. At the VP-6 Dining In however, when it was time to
sit down, everyone pulled their chairs out and seated themselves; everyone that is, except the LCDRs. While the rest of the squadron and guests sat waiting, the LCDRs remained standing, pulling and tugging at their
chairs which for some inexplicable reason would not come out from under the table. RADM Pendley, the Skipper, and all of the JOs looked quizzically on, wondering why the LCDRs would not be seated. The reason that
the Clones were having so much trouble was that earlier in the afternoon, LT Mann and LTJG Hendrix had secretly entered the dining room, and crawling underneath the tables commando-style, wired the LCDRs chairs to the tables with ordnance wire so they could not be removed. Eventually the Clones figured out what was causing the problem and after several embarrassing minutes, the chairs were freed. Once seated, the Clones were again treated to another Clone joke; when they opened their napkins to place on their laps, out of each napkin fell a cutout photograph of a male reproductive organ. While the LCDRs were preoccupied and enjoying their "party favors", the JOs took the opportunity to quietly distribute the marshmallow candy food-fight ammunition.
An important part of the Dining In tradition is toasting. Throughout the evening of a Navy Dining In, all officers in attendance are expected to maintain a charged glass to allow participation in toasts.
Being caught with an uncharged wine glass is an infraction of the Dining In rules and is subject to a fine. The wine flowed in abundance that night in Adak. Our waiter, a Navy Petty Officer assigned to the base and
moonlighting at the BOQ, was kept busy filling wine glasses. Eventually, the JOs started passing glasses of wine to the waiter for him to drink, and it was not long before he was inebriated too.
The
Operations tempo in 1988 in the North Pacific was such that the squadron maintained two crews on the 1-hour Ready Alert (Which meant the crews could not drink alcoholic beverages and were dressed in their
flightsuits). Toward the end of the meal and several bottles of wine later, RADM Pendley stood up and faced the Operations Officer, LCDR Tom Donovan, and screamed "Donovan, you don't have a hair on your ass if
you don't free the Ready." The entire room erupted in a chant of "Free the ready! Free the ready! Free the ready!" Faced with the ultimate dilemma, LCDR Donovan did the right thing and took Crew Nine
off of ready alert status. With Crew 9 well behind their peers in alcohol intake, the quick thinking and ever subtle CAC 9 3rd Pilot, LT Lance "Smokey" Carr, rushed to the bar, purchased a fifth of Vodka
and he and his crewmates caught up to the rest of us with a vengeance.
After many toasts and part of dinner, the room finally erupted into the inevitable massive food fight. Marshmallow candy, rolls, and
anything else left over from dinner (not much was actually eaten) was soon flying through the air.
Not surprisingly, the Clones were massacred. The JOs were better prepared, well-armed, and easily
outnumbered the LCDRs by at least two to one, so it was hardly a fair fight. A bit carried away with the moment, LT Jeff Smith launched a dinner plate and unintentionally hit LCDR Larry St Pierre in the face. LCDR
St Pierre required medical attention and wore an eye patch for a couple of weeks, but there was no permanent injury. In another food-as-a-weapon incident, a dinner roll mysteriously turned into a projectile that
caught LCDR Carl "Jake" Jacobs square in the face. LCDR Jacobs erroneously accused CWO2 Edwards, a bodybuilder, of the malicious act (detailed study of gun-camera footage indicates that the
"kill" should actually have been awarded to Hendrix). An altercation erupted where the Warrant Officer challenged the good Clone to take it outside. Needless to say, LCDR Jacobs immediately backed down.
At the conclusion of dinner and after the casualties had been attended to, the group retired once again to the BOQ bar. The partying continued, but unlike the Cocktail Hour, the VP-6 group became even more rowdy
as the alcohol started taking full effect. At one point, LT Dave Island, another avid body builder, scrambled to the top of the bar, commandeered a bottle of tequila and margarita mixer, and began pouring
upside-down margaritas into the upturned mouths of thirsty JOs. Eventually there was a call to "get Admiral Pendley to do one" and several JOs rushed over to grab RADM Pendley. Still clad in his Mess Dress
blues they lifted him so that he was on his back, in the prone position, and roughly carried him back to the bar on their shoulders. With the Admiral on his back with his head held at bar top level, Dave Island
poured tequila and mixer from his perched position, loosely aiming for the Admiral's mouth. Unfortunately, most of the tequila and mixer missed the target and instead of enjoying the drink, the Admiral ended up with
a wet face and stinging eyes.
As the night wore on, the party became even more raucous. More toasts were made and drink glasses and other bar appointments were thrown into the fireplace. Seizing the moment,
normally mild-mannered LT Ray Clark grabbed a three-foot-wide wooden set of Surface Warfare Officer (SWO) water wings off the wall saying "We don't need these anymore" and broke them in two over his knee.
Our waiter from dinner, as part of the dinner cleanup, carried trays of clean drinking glasses from the dishwashing machine in the kitchen back to the dining room for storage. The route from the kitchen to the
dining room required him to walk through the BOQ bar. On one of these trips he stopped and informed us that he had been fired by the management for drinking alcohol on the job. With no incentive to prevent the
destruction that was occurring around him, he smiled and offered us a large tray of clean glasses which we quickly sacrificed in the fireplace. He made several trips and each time offered a tray of glasses to us.
The fireplace became filled with broken glass.
Later, It was noticed that the Skipper was missing from the bar. Assuming that he had retired to his room, LT Mosk, LTJG Hendrix and LT Mann ran to his BOQ room in search of the lead Blue Shark. Upon entering the Skipper’s room, the JO's were astonished to find the CO in only a tee-shirt and skivvies, and carefully cradled around his commode in the fetal position. Shaking him awake, they helped him dress again and tried to take advantage of his less than alert state by attempting to dress him in different color socks. But our CO was still coherent enough to notice the cruel joke that the JOs were attempting to play on him and prevented them from carrying through with the plan.
Toward the end of the festivities, LTJG Hendrix and LTJG Heye took advantage of an extremely inebriated and clueless LT Jeff Smith. The incoherent Smith was sitting in a padded swivel chair being
involuntarily swiveled from side to side by repeated alternating open hand blows to the face by each LTJG.
Deep into the night, with the damage already done, the NAS Adak Command Duty Officer (CDO), a serious
Surface Warfare LT, was dispatched to the scene. Upon entering the chaos he said something clever like "What's going on here?" At which time, he was grabbed soundly by the collar by LT Mosk, thrown into
the wall and told to "get his F____g Shoe Ass out of here" (a “shoe” was a “black shoe” or Surface Warfare Officer, a ship driver, versus a “brown shoe”, or an aviator). He did not come back. By the end of
the night, all the richly woven (but very tacky) tapestries depicting bull moose, salmon and the Alaskan landscape that so elegantly adorned the BOQ dining area were in the toilets, soiled by all manner of human
excrement. Apparently, someone had taken a strong dislike for the "high quality" decor. Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, the survivors stumbled back to their rooms.
The next morning, the
squadron officers rallied at the BOQ bar. Most had hangovers, but still managed to make it downstairs to clean up the mess they had created. Although many of the bar decorations were destroyed beyond repair or
missing, the VP-6 officers swept up the popcorn, glass and other trash from the floor and cleaned the bar as best they could. Perhaps the best piece of news that we received that morning was that our Petty Officer
waiter had not in fact, lost his moonlighting position at the BOQ. Several days later, our CO received a bill for $8000 from NAS Adak to pay for the damage that had been inflicted. The bill seemed excessively high
and it was suspected that it was inflated by the Base to serve as punishment for our actions. Not willing to accept an inflated bill without a fight, our Skipper gathered his best team of negotiators led by LT Kevin
Hannes, who were able to whittle the final tally to $2500. The $2500 bill was evenly divided among all of the VP-6 officers who participated, quite easily paying for everything that was destroyed during the night. A
few weeks later, large tastefully framed photographs of the Alaskan landscape hung in place of the tacky tapestries that had previously adorned the BOQ dining area. On each frame was mounted an engraved brass plaque
that read "VP-6 Dining In 1988".
*"The Night of a 1000 Rolls". In preparation for the 1986 Cubi Point deployment Dining In, the Junior Officers commissioned the NAS Cubi Officers Club
kitchen to fill a special order for 1000 freshly baked rolls. The rolls became non-lethal ammunition for the night's food fight. To commemorate the occasion, the JOs also ordered T-shirts emblazoned with a large
LCDR's oak leaf rank insignia crossed-out with a large red circle-slash and the words "The Night of a Thousand Rolls" and "Non Clonus Amongus".
Recounted in collaboration by Harry Mann and Bill Mosk - (Of course none of this can be proven and we will disavow any knowledge of these events with the
Tailhook proven response; “I can not recall” if questioned by the authorities.)
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